I'm a world record holder. Who would like to be the first to congratulate me?!

I'm glad you find your alcoholism funny there pal. Let's see how funny it is when you die in either an alcohol related accident or cirrosis of the liver (nobody ever plans on that by the way. It just happens) or when you lose your job, your house, your family and all you friends over you life long career in drinking. Will you be laughing then? Heart disease is even more hilarious too! LAUGH IT UP FUNNY BOY! I'll be laughing my as$ off too when you're laying their in your coffin and with all 10 people who bothered showing up to your services! CONGRATULATIONS!

you know something?i'm sure you already know this.you're a dumba$$..if you're even telling the truth,but something tells me you're just stupid enough to be telling the truth.look man,why the fcuk are you bragging about being so idiotic?alcoholism is a horrible disease that doesn't just ruin the consumer's life but also destroys the live's of your loved ones and strangers alike-dude this really isn't something to be celebrating.this is something to be worrying about.you have some serious issues,and a lot of them..enough to get a subscription too.if you're in such a rush to kill yourself,get on with it already and spare us your pathetic juvenile attempts at impressing us..because guess what loser,we couldn't care less about you and your moronic record breaking acts of lunacy!

stupid FCUK!

You won't be the last, unfortunately. It's not big, and it's not clever, and it's not funny. You are not a hero, hero's do brave things. Brave things DO NOT include:
Wetting yourself.
Throwing up over yourself, the cat, some stranger, ambulance man, nurse etc.
Jumping into somebody's hedge, pretending to be superman
Thinking you ARE Superman and fall from a tall building when you realise that you can't fly.
Falling over
Arguing with somebody sober, bigger and stronger than you and calling them names
Memory loss - where DID I get this black eye, broken, jaw bruises all over my body from?
Liver/kidney/stomach damage
Money loss
Time loss
Feeling like someTHING dead has taken over your body the next day, feeling like you could be a zombie in the next movie
Feeling like theres something inside your brain using a jack-hammer to try and get out and not succeeding.
That feeling of dread when you suddenly get a flash back and realised you shouldn't have said/done to that particular person....

Any of this sound fimiliar?

Congratulations on making a fool of yourself, glad I wasn't there!