I need help ordering drinks at a bar!?!

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Ask the bar tender what is most recommend for trying a new type of beer.

Martinis don't need specifics as to what goes in them.
Gin Martini's dry = no vermouth get olives
Gin Martini's plain = splash of vermouth get olives
Whiskey Manhattan = whiskey with a splash of sweet vermouth get cherries
Whiskey Manhattan dry = no vermouth get cherries
Vodka Gibson = ditto for the gin except they get cocktail onions

You don't need to tell the bartender about the 'garbage' that goes into the drink which is shaken over ice and strained into the glass. A martini 'up' is not shaken over ice, but rather poured in the glass straight. Or you can ask for a martini 'on the rocks'- the liquor poured over ice in a rocks glass.
Long Island ice teas are sort of 'kid' drinks in a bar.
I like a straight boiler maker - a shot of whiskey and a cold beer.

Ex bartender

Order Jesus Juice

Pastor Michaels

Use the opportunity to learn about new drinks. I personally like
single malt scotch a lot.

The next few times try this, to learn the incredibly different
flavours single malts scotch can have:

Everytime you ask for a single malt, Ask for water on the side
and NO ice in the scotch. Just pure. Add a few drops of water
to the scotch, let it sit for 5-10 minutes and smell and taste.
Add a little more water and see how the flavor changes. Do not
add more than 1 part of water to 4 parts of scotch. At that amount
most scotches already loose focus on their flavors.

This is going to be fun try one of these each day:

1- Glenlivet 12. A classic reference point, it does not have too
much peat, so it is not too smoky, it is also not too sherried, it has
a hints of flower and pepper. Very nice and available everywhere.

2-Dalmore 12. This one has quite a bit more sherry, it is sweeter,
flavour lingers in the mouth for longer, lille peat. This one is a
favorite of good cigar smokers.

3-Highland Park 12. Often voted as one of the best all around 12's.
It has both peat (smoky flavour) and sherry (fruit, oloroso, port flavours).
It is incredibly complex. I love this one. Here you start going in a
different direction.

4-Macallan 10 or 12. This one has a LOT of sherry flavor to it, an extreme
very sweet, but very good. Not complex like the Highland Park but very
characteristic. Another one similar to this is the Balvenie Doublewood, perhaps
even better.

5-Laproaig 10 year old (or even better Double Cask). Here again in a
completely different direction, this has a LOT of Peat is very smoky,
tastes and smells like the sea, salt, algae, iodine. It is a type of scotch
form the Islay region. For scotch conossiurs it is highly prized, perhaps
for the rest an aquired taste. Try it to see what so called "peat monster"
scotchs are like. If you like it, try the Ardbeg 10 or the Talisker.

6-Lagavulin 16. Treat yourself, this one has both a lot of peat and sherry
flavour to it, it is complex and a flavor explosion. More expensive though.
Get there after you tried a few of the others.

Then some other classic single malts that are worth noting: Glenmorangie
which is not too expensive and quite complex, Oban a bit more expensive,
Glen Rothes is a very well crafter single malt the Select Reserve is
reasonably priced. Old Puteney 12 is also nice. There is a lot to explore.
Again it is a good idea to start with a few reference ones to train the palate.

Have fun.

It depends entirely on what you like. Don't worry so much about what other people think is cool to order/drink. If you find a drink you like, no need to be shy.

I personally like a "seven and seven", which is Seagram's 7 whiskey and 7up.

Very tasty, and easy to tell the bartender how to make if they are completely clueless.

You can never go wrong by asking the waitress/bartender what they have on draft, and then ignoring all the beers you already know. The ones you don't know but they have on draft are usually good enough to be worth trying. If you know all of them (and they're all boring), then ask if they have any microbrews (bottled if they don't have them on tap)