How long could one survive trapped in a LIDL?!
How long could one survive trapped in a LIDL?
Is anything they sell edible?
Additional Details2 days ago
UPDATE 18.35pm.... Guess where I have just been for a case of lager ? only 5 euros for 24 cans ! GOD BLESS LIDL !! (I managed to avoid the 'food').
Answers:
LIDL is great, seriously. I go there quite often to cheer myself up becasue when youve spent an hour or so in Lidl, nothing else in life seems to be THAT bad!! You could probably survive for at least a week, eating the rancid pasta salads and fish based cream snacks which taste as bad as they sound. To whilst away the hours you will spend crouched behind the yoghurt aisle, I have devised some happy little games for you to play;
1) FOOD BASED RUSSIAN ROULETTE
We all know that hardly any of the food labels in Lidl are in English...you pick up what looks like a tin of beans but when you get home its actually a selection of pickled jumbo olives stuffed with goats ****. Or something. To play this game, simply pick up the tin off the shelf nearest to you and try to eat it. I give you a one in five chance of survival.
2) HIDE THE PALLETS
Is it just me or are there NEVER any bloody trolleys or baskets in any Lidl?? Whats the story with that?
This means that anyone wishing to buy more than three items has to search for a little pallet or cardboard box to carry them in...race round the shop floor at opening time and remove as many cardboard pallets, boxes and shelvy things that you can. Then stand back and watch the carnage as all the pikey customers spend the afternoon trying to balance their groceries on their heads, children, unsuspecting passers by etc.
I hope that helps. And may god have mercy on your soul, intrepid Lidl explorer.