Why is it that only when I drink I feel like I truely understand life?!
Why is it that only when I drink I feel like I truely understand life?
When I don't drink, I see the world through rose-colored lenses, but dark rose. Its as if... as if I'm constantly under a cloud of depression. Then I drink and I see how trivial my problems are and understand what humour is for once. I also understand the philosophies of life for once, you see? I am a person who normally rarely laughs, but when I drink I can finally think clearly. It sounds odd, but I'm a person who can think coherently only WHEN I drink. I've drank quite a bit recently in fact. And now is when I understand how rediculous my overshyness is and how it will hold me back in life. I wish, in a sense, that I always felt like this. At the same time, often I look back later on things I wrote in this phase and just... God, there are too many philosopical thoughts zooming through my head right now. Know what I mean? About the drunken philosophy? For me that's a constant.
Answers:
Drinking alters your perception of things but drinking is a drug. And like any other drug it can come addictive and mind altering. Dont get me wrong I'm no teetotaller when it comes to wine and I definately like a drink. But I do know if you have an addictive personality it can be hard to give up the "demon drink". An occasional drink is fine but when it becomes everyday or huge binge drinking sessions you get into real trouble. You cant stop the urge to drink and then your life becomes a hazy mess and things may start to go wrong for you. People have died from alcohol addiction or lost family and other things they cherish. I'm not trying to scare you merely to make you aware of what could happen so please be careful.
If your depressed and not feeling very confident go and talk to a councellor or someone trustworthy like a reliable friend who you can confide in. If you dont know where to get some help ask a doctor for a referral. Or you could go to a library and get some books on developing self confidence, there are lots around and google would probably give you a list of people's websites.
If you feel you get creative when you have a drink why not combine it with going to a poetry club in a pub or some other creative writing club where you can go out for a few drinks later. Or even try going to university to study philosphy that way you get to drink and philosphize at the same time! i'm sure you have lots to offer and have lots of ideas just make sure you put your energies in the right direction.