If you drank enough booze, could you ignite your own...?!
If you drank enough booze, could you ignite your own...?
..p1ss?
I want to know if there's any chance I could get arrested for being drunk in charge of a flamethrower.
Answers:
Dunno, about that, my but, - here's a "FUNNY", - but, ABSOLUTELY TRUE, - story, about something that happened to ME a few years ago, now.
I was threatened with arrest, because, - having stopped to assist the police, (they were WATCHING me, as I walke towards their car), - because, - by virtue of the fact, that I saw, that their car had come from another COUNTY, - I live in the UK, - I was, FIRST, ordered to take a BREATHALYSER test, - then, asked for IDENTIFICATION, and my ADDRESS! I gave both, - willingly, - but, the officer, - a SERGEANT, no less, - got OUT of the vehicle, and "ESCORTED" me, HOME, - in a "REGULATION" police ARM-LOCK!
My Mother saw as I approached the front door, at home, and, - before I had TIME to use my KEY, - she had opened the door! She was asked, - by the misguieded plod, - if she KNEW me, - to which, SHE replied, - angrily:- "YES, - OF COURSE I DO! HE'S MY YOUNGEST SON, - AND, - FOR YOUR INFORMATION, - HE'S NOT DRUNK, - YOU CRETIN, - HE'S DISABLED!"
Needless, to say, the "PLOD" was MOST EMBARRASSED, - but, I made him, feel even MORE foolish, when, - calmly, - I looked him, in the EYE, and asked:- "HOW LONG HAS THAT BEEN A CRIMINAL OFFENCE?"
He wondered, what I was REFERRING to, so I told him:- "IS IT A CRIMINAL OFFENCE, TO BE 'P****D IN CHARGE OF A PAIR OF FEET', THESE DAYS, PAL?"
Mum wasn't pleased with ME, but, I didn't CARE!
Needless to say, I received a FULL APOLOGY, - not ONLY from the offending SERGEANT, - but ALSO, from the County's CHIEF CONSTABLE, - who, actually, KNEW me, PERSONALLY, as a FRIEND!