What's your favourite beer joke?!
What's your favourite beer joke?
Answers:
corona is a good beer...what a joke..
ummm.....here is a few..
1.A pirate walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks down and says "You know that you have a steering wheel in your pants"
The pirate replies "Ay, it's drivin' me nuts"
2.Grasshopper
A grasshopper walks into a bar, pulls up a stool, and orders a beer. The bartender pours him a tall, frothy mug and says "You know... we have a drink named after you." To which the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Bob?"
3.BEER TROUBLESHOOTING
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.
SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.
coors light
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of beer next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.”
So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1)Sip the beer, don’t gulp.
2)There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3)There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4)Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5)Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ***.
6)We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7)The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8)David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
9)When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his ***.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the “Big T.”
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, “Take this and eat it for it is my body.” He did not say “Eat me”.
12)The Virgin Mary is not called “Mary with the Cherry”.
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST. Peter’s not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.
Three guys are lost at sea in a life raft. One of them finds a strange looking bottle. He picks up the bottle, pulls out the cork, and a genie suddenly appears in the raft. The genie informs them that they will be granted one wish. One of the men, being extremely thirsty cries out " I wish all this water was beer". "POOF" The entire ocean turns into beer!!! The other guys shout "YOU IDIOT!! Now we have to stay out here and we have to pee in the raft".
That's not a beer belly.. that's the fuel tank for my sex machine!!
"the best beer in the world is Budweiser."
rimshot!
What's more dangerous than beer muscles?
Beer brains!
What is the best kind of beer you can get?
Cold, free!
It only takes one beer to get me drunk.....
I just forget if it is the 15th or 16th!
bud light
A polar bear walks into a bar and orders a,"Beer.......................... a frosty mug please."
The bartender gets it for him but asks,"What's with the big pause?"
The bear answers,"Don't know, my Dad has them too!"