Is my friend an alcoholic?!
Is my friend an alcoholic?
my m8 drink 1 bottle of red wine a day. starting around 4pm. sometimes she has 1 and half bottles and the odd day she starts just after lunch. she has gone days without a bottle but lately she seems to depend on it to get rid of the crap in her life. she is a good person and a great mother but refuses to answer her door once she is drinking, incase someone see's her in a drunken state. does she just love drinknig or does she have a problem? if so how can i advise her x
Answers:
I would say that she has a problem. And if she is anything like me or my Mum it will only be the one bottle she is telling you about. There will be more. Unfortunately the only person who can change that with help is your friend. However it takes courage to take the first step in asking for that help.
Alcohol advisory service in your area might be a first step. They are non judgemental and matter of fact about it all and they do not ""lecture"" but speak to you as a person with feelings, and alot of their work is councelling - not lecturing you, but trying to find out about the causes of the drinking. With time it might help her to go down this route.
Alternatively, if she prefers group discussions she could go to AA, numbers in the phone book.
I have been dry nearly 2 years without the help of drugs, just this one to one, and sheer hard work. I was lucky in that I did not get the withdrawal symptoms.
My mum is still at it which is a shame as she is the one who critisized me, but never sees the fault in herself. She is in total denial! I knew for a long time that I had a problem but plucking up the courage was the hard part.
Stick with your friend through it all. She will have good days and bad days. Help her with her chores and her kids if necessary and if she will let you. Be there to listen to her. She may need medication for a while, but probably not. That is usually done when all other avenues have failed.
Having said all that, do not put up with abuse from her. In that case you would have to put yourself in a position of a mother with a toddler who refuses to come somewhere. Threaten to walk away and if she still abuses you, do so, but be ""within earshot" in case she decides to change her tune! Or in case she is in real danger, or her kids are.
Good luck to both of you.