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Answers: to the nearest bucket full will be fine!

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you mean she doesnt already -??
you want to be drinking Moogan Schnapps - hic -and a couple of cans of Tesco Value Bitter

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I think a few whiskey's and rum's would help more lol.

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Forget cider I think crystal meth is the only thing that could make that possible.

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Don't mess about with strongbow, go straight for the white lightning. 3 ltrs for 2.99. Tenners worth should do it.

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I would help but all I can suggest is possibly 3 of White Lightening

beaten to the post there by champagn..

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Nearest bucket? More like a few barrels!

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About as many as it will take her to have you look like Brad Pitt.

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I don't think there's enough cider in the world for that hun!! Maybe if you down a bottle of vodka then turn the light off then squint a little then..... nope, still not happening!!! :)

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