I'm a recovering addict and I don't drink alcohol anymore...?!
I'm a recovering addict and I don't drink alcohol anymore...?
...but I find that people don't easily let their hair down around me because I don't drink. Is it because I'm not getting "ill" or drunk with them, they don't find me cool? i.e. "I know how you feel cause I'm drunk too, YAY!!!" Or is it they simply don't trust a guy who doesn't drink? I understand when it's "Miller Time" it's "Miller Time". But I just don't see it that way anymore. I understand there are many rewarding things you can do as you drink, it shouldn't be about I'm drunk, you're drunk, we're drunk, and so on.
Answers:
In my book and in my crowd, it is much more comfortable to be around people who aren't drinking. Much more pleasurable, sane, and all around good time. AND we have a great time, I remember it!
For me it is about being responsible. It's also about being my real self, the one I live with everyday. I know what to expect. I love surprises but not the kind I have seen when around out of control alcoholics.
I also have experienced more than one person that with just one drink turn into someone else completely. I thought I was going out with a nice person! UGH!
I have seen nice men and women(when sober) be so drunk they would make moves on all the wrong people if you get my drift.
After all, I doubt that not many wives, husbands, girlfriends, boyfriends, or "just friends" based the beginning of their relationship on the fact that they just loved this person and wanted to know them better because of how they were when they were drinking?
You may want to think about developing new relationships. I know many "recovering" alcoholics who did. One friend of mine said he didn't know one could have so much fun just drinking a milk shake!
By the way congratulations. This is a wonderful thing that you have done and are doing. Just remember, a true friend is one that uplifts, encourages, and nourishes you as a friend. They are the ones that pat you on the back, pray for you, and help you to keep away from destructive behavior. If they are tempting you, treating you different and making you feel badly. They aren't friends.
I encourage you to look at all the angles. Pick one that best serves your brand new life. There are many sober people looking for a new friend. You will never be sorry.
I will pray for you .
Sincerely,
Curiosity's Kat
Just yesterday a young man in our community wrecked his new car out with 3 friends, drinking having a "good time" with them. Drunk, drugs, no seat belt, passengers had seat belts on except one. Two were killed, one hurt severely, the driver wasn't hurt, but is arrested for homicide. He will never forget and neither will the loved ones of the victims.
order an o'douls & they wont even ask
Gain respect as the designated driver.
Find a different group of people to hang out with, ones who have the same values you now have. There are great things to do without getting drunk.
you did the right thing, and when people see other people do the right thing it sometimes makes them feel awkward or guilty. like they have to be different around you. not saying drinking is wrong but it can be.
WOOOOOOOOOW' WELL GOOD FOR YOU.....I LIKE GOOD NEWS...GOD BLESS YA
They probably dont want to make you feel uncomfortable by drinking too much around you. Most people understand that it is very difficult for a recovering addict to be around the substance and especially watch their friends using it. They probably just care about your feelings.
they are afraid that if you see them having a good time while they are drinking, you might start again.
congratulations.
I know what you mean - I was incredibly stupid around alcohol, so I decided one day to just stop drinking. Suddenly my friends stopped asking me to come out with them if they were going drinking, because they figured I wouldn't want to go if I was going to be sober, or that I would feel awkward and pressured.
Slowly they started to understand that I still like being around them, because I am actually capable of having fun without drinking (shock horror)!! They still dont invite me out as much as they used to, but it's a bit better now that they have gotten used to it.
My guess is people just dont really think that you will want to be around crazy drunks if you are not drinking or are a recovering alcoholic - or they are embarassed because they know that you're not drunk and stupid with them and are going to remember everything the next day!
Don't hang around people that drink, that's a quick way to fall back in. I think they're afraid to trust you now, now that you're different from them. Congrats on sobriety, keep up the good work.
I've been on both sides of this as the drinker and as the sober. I think the drinkers know that they're acting stupid and parading about like idiots, and all the other drinkers are getting a kick out of it. But the sober as level-headed as he is, doesn't really get into it or laugh about it as much as everyone else, and in the worst cases starts to babysit and tries to keep the drinkers 'in-line'. The drinkers feel that the sober one is just a downer and a party-pooper.
I'd suggest acting up a little. I know our inhibitions tell us otherwise, but go ahead and tell some stupid jokes and stand on something that is not the ground. Laugh obnoxiously. You'll be able to have the stupid thoughtless fun that all the drinkers are having but you'll be less likely to hurt yourself, and you'll remember everything in the morning. You won't be ACTING once you get into it, you'll just be having fun.
chose your friends wisely.
Unfortunately it's time to find new people to hang out with that do not drink either (when you want to go out.) You are not going to have a good time being the sober one pressured into trying to fit in, and they are not obviously conforming to your new lifestyle. Pick times to hang out with your friends when it's not all about drinking, and find a group of recovering addicts or other strait people to do other activities with. Congratulations to you for finding that strength.
I quit dranking for 7 years once...It wont kill ye...know what I found out? Its the sugar in the brew that your body craves...the alcohol is just a plus...I got a bad cold that turned into pneumonia and still didn't drink any..went to hospitaol..eventually got over it...then about a tear after that i began to get sick again...this time I went and did what my father my grandfater and my great grandfather did..I went and bought some jack daniels..I got over it... I drink now...but now as much as I did when I was young.Its a faze you go through being a dang alcoholic...aint no room to be an alcoholic in this day and time..just be socialble..thats what i say..hay you ever had 6 grandkids? you will learn..I salute you for being sober my friend..
Sounds like you need a beer but if you don't good for you
because they respect you more now