Who is drunk and why or tell stoies about being drunk??!
I then tried to walk home as the crow flies.
I can remember a cop asking for my ID at some point but he must have let me go as he didn't arrest me.
Next I can remember, an ambulance driver was tapping me with his boot.
It was sunrise and I was sprawled out half on the sidewalk and half on someones front lawn.
They had received a 911 call about a dead body in a person's front yard.
After much questioning, the cops gave me a ride........home.
Got my butt kicked one night when I called the local college baseball team a bunch of college pri*ks. In the parking lot by myself.
Pissed off seven navy Squids fresh out of boot camp in Orlando who were spoiling for a fight.
It was at a nightclub and they followed me to my car on the side of the club.
I decided I had to bluff them so I threw off my sports coat and said "okay, who's first?"( I'm a pretty big guy so bluffing was doable). The smallest of the group stepped up to call my bluff.
So thinking quick, I started berating the bigger guys with stuff like "Look, the smallest guy is the bravest. The rest of you are a bunch of pu**ies!" or something like that.
That kept them off balance for a few minutes and I kept talking, just knowing I was about to get my *** kicked.
About then a huge guy came around the corner, flashed his badge, and said the first one to throw a punch goes to jail.
I grabbed my coat and said adios!
Woke up naked on Cocoa Beach. With a naked woman spooning me. At least she was good looking.
Spent three hours with a friend trying to find our car after a ZZ Top/Rolling Stones concert. Sobered up in the meanwhile.
A friend and I decided to spray cars on a busy six lane street below with a fire hose from a fifth floor parking garage. Luckily the security guard was on a golf cart and we were able to outrun him.
No wonder I decided to quit drinking!
Answers: Many years ago, I tried to drive home from a bar but realized I was too hammered to do it. I pulled into a closed gas station and hit a light pole.
I then tried to walk home as the crow flies.
I can remember a cop asking for my ID at some point but he must have let me go as he didn't arrest me.
Next I can remember, an ambulance driver was tapping me with his boot.
It was sunrise and I was sprawled out half on the sidewalk and half on someones front lawn.
They had received a 911 call about a dead body in a person's front yard.
After much questioning, the cops gave me a ride........home.
Got my butt kicked one night when I called the local college baseball team a bunch of college pri*ks. In the parking lot by myself.
Pissed off seven navy Squids fresh out of boot camp in Orlando who were spoiling for a fight.
It was at a nightclub and they followed me to my car on the side of the club.
I decided I had to bluff them so I threw off my sports coat and said "okay, who's first?"( I'm a pretty big guy so bluffing was doable). The smallest of the group stepped up to call my bluff.
So thinking quick, I started berating the bigger guys with stuff like "Look, the smallest guy is the bravest. The rest of you are a bunch of pu**ies!" or something like that.
That kept them off balance for a few minutes and I kept talking, just knowing I was about to get my *** kicked.
About then a huge guy came around the corner, flashed his badge, and said the first one to throw a punch goes to jail.
I grabbed my coat and said adios!
Woke up naked on Cocoa Beach. With a naked woman spooning me. At least she was good looking.
Spent three hours with a friend trying to find our car after a ZZ Top/Rolling Stones concert. Sobered up in the meanwhile.
A friend and I decided to spray cars on a busy six lane street below with a fire hose from a fifth floor parking garage. Luckily the security guard was on a golf cart and we were able to outrun him.
No wonder I decided to quit drinking!
Well I have been told by friend my foreign language skills improve quite substantially.
I was a chef for a number of years (20+) and speak French, German and Swedish quite well sober, but become a national when I have 5 or 6 pints of Guinness in me, and I can tell some salty jokes also, to my horror, I found that out the hard way. I know from experience that not only do you become less inhibited but in your sub-concious you may repress things in a non-drinking mode, and they tend to come out when less incumbered.
Well basically I hurt a lot of people and damaged my body, so I don't drink any more.
Being drunk turned me into the most awful liar ... I told people I'd done things I definitely hadn't, with the most convincing details and even lyrical descriptions of my imaginary exploits.
I couldn't even tell my own name properly - I made up fake names, fake ages, fake addresses, fake jobs, pretended to be married, pretended to be a virgin, pretended to be gay, put on fake accents and pretended to be from foreign countries, picked out random people in the crowd and pretended they were my friends or relatives ... you name it, I lied about it.
DRINKING IS BAD FOR U PEOPLE. STOP DOING IT. ONLY ON SPECIAL OCCASIONS. WHICH SHOULD BE VERY RARELY
I don't tell stoies.
I'm drunk as usual, My story is it's a way of life....
Wow, I could tell drunk stories all night. I had 3 roommates who were all guys, and we all got off of work around 2 a.m..... and there is nothing to at that time other than drink.
-One morning we decided to practice our ninja skills and stabbed my closet door with this big @ss sword.
-Myself and a couple of guy friends had a pillow fight that turned into a Wrestlemania main event. Some end tables were broken, and I have fleeting memories of people's heads bouncing off of the walls.
-One night last winter we were all drunk and there was a sheet of ice on the roads. We walked to the local convenience store to get some smokes. It was hilarious because we all busted our asses trying to skate on the ice. I almost got hit by a van because I couldn't move fast enough to get out of the way.
I have many stories of being drunk or other people being drunk but since this is an online persona I can tell my worst one that happened to me.
One night after a long days work in a deli that I used to work at over the summer. My self and a fellow co worker hit the bars on a mission to get poor old me laid. So after a very long bout of drinking at many bars and buying many girls drinks I decided to call it a night (since the $120 in my wallet were gone) I went home over the bridge in defeat. I was home alone and a lovely thought came to me. If I can't get laid I'm going to at least ... well you know. Unable to work the blinds in my bedroom I decided to go to the bathroom to do the deed. Well I must have underestimated the amount of alcohol I had that night and I passed out.
"So what?" you say. Well I awake to something prodding my backside (no not like that ) then a voice saying
"Wake up! I gotta go pee"
I wake up rooster in hand and said...
"Hi dad."