Hosting a party - what's the etiquette?!
There are two things here. If you are hosting the party, then it is not your friend's, it is your party. It seems she is having you pay all the expenses of holding a party, yet is telling her friends it is her party. Is she hosting the BBQ party for you? No.
How good friends are you with her? It is your house,and you have the right to invite anyone you want. Talk to your friend, and come to an agreement, she should not be telling you who to invite, but you also don't want to ruin a friendship.
Do you have a friend you want to invite who has not met your friend and would most likely fit in? Invite that person, pleasantly tell your friend you have invited this other person. Her reaction will tell all.
If you do not even know this person you do not have to invite them to your party. If your bossy friend would like to add this person as her plus 1 then fine but you do not have include any unknown person.
This is your party she is having hers next month let her make the choices then and if she has a fit then politely uninvite her too.
Allow it to happen and then she will owe you one.... And you can pull that card out and use it next time you want to bring out your lover or small child to a gathering.
i agree with bruce