Why when toasting to the memory of someone using a shot glass do people sometimes spill a little out.?!
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There is significance to it. It is called Libation. This is done out of respect for the dead and as a way to share the drink with a person who has passed on. What is spilled out of the glass is an offering to the dead person/his spirit. It is very common to do in countries where animism (the belief in spirits and ghosts) is deeply rooted, like South-East Asia.
Many people in Thailand for instance also pour a first shot-glass onto the floor as an offering to dead friends when opening a bottle of alcohol. Not just as a toast, but habitually.
In the same spirit, people there often offer food and drinks to spirits on either a small altar (in this case it's mostly offered to ancestors) or what is called a spirit house. This is a colorful miniature house on a pedestal which is put in front of a building to offer spirits/ghosts of the deceased a place to live (mainly to keep them out of the building...). Food and drinks are offered to keep them happy.
Maybe when their clanking glasses the wine/beer "slushes" around and spills out i doubt it has any significance To be Honest.
It's for the missing member that you are toasting. Like giving them a sip sort of.